I should’ve flown Southwest

Posted by Justin Goldsborough | 7 comments

A poem about my travel trials and tribulations

I’m headed down to Knoxville now

I should’ve flown Southwest

For work, we flew United

And I’m really not impressed

First, we’re on one of those small planes

That no one nowhere likes to fly

The ones where you just hope

That you make it and don’t die

And I’m sitting in the last row

Which makes it even worse

It’s the last place that you want to sit

You’ll see in the next verse

Supposed to leave at 5

But took off 2 hours late

They said it was too rainy

For our plane to leave the gate

Now I grant I’m not a pilot

But this one I don’t quite get

Can a plane not fly you safely

If it gets a little wet

So we finally hit the runway

And our plane begins to cruise

Until the pilot makes the beep sound

And says he has bad news

Malfunction in the cockpit

We’re going to have to land

Divert the plane to Knoxville

Where the Op-ary is Grand

Wait, that’s Nashville with the Opry

My bad, I knew I missed

Guess you can tell from reading

It’s not on my bucket list

So that’s why I was saying

The last row, it kind of sucks

Cause in an emergency landing

Well, your just shit outta luck

Thankfully, we landed safely

Though the fire trucks were there

Not as bad as my emergency exit

Story from high school at O’Hare

Back to Knoxville, there they switched us planes

And sent us on our way

Second direct flight to KC

Two more hours from my day

Guess I could be like Dave Carroll

With a busted up guitar

But United’s task was simple

To KC and to my car

See, my wife was making dinner

And I know she isn’t pissed

But I’ve traveled a lot lately

Several dinners I have missed

The United folks have been real nice

Except it would be wise

For them to take a second

And at least apologize

No one said that they were sorry

Not the pilot nor the crew

We all know that these things happen

But it’s something you must do

Looks like I’ll get home round midnight

And I’ll get to get some rest

Four hours later than was scheduled

This never happens on Southwest