HAPPO Series: How to leave a job the right way

Posted by Justin Goldsborough | 5 comments

There are a few big lessons in the workplace that for some reason, we never seem to talk about. One is strategic planning. We just expect people to learn strategy. But we don’t formally teach it. Two is selling and people skills. Again, we just cross our fingers and hope our employees pick these up. Or we only hire folks who demonstrate they can handle w face-to-face conversation well.

Third is how to leave a job the right way. For some reason, this topic has become taboo. And what’s funny is that people try to be so politically correct about how they handle this one that it keeps them from handling it in a politically correct fashion.

I can’t ask someone what I’m supposed to do if I get another job offer. And when I do get that offer, my only option is to give my employer two weeks and then move on. Gee, I hope I can avoid a confrontation.

I have seen too many people take the approach above in the last three years and completely botch this process. I used to shake my head (sorry, smh) and wonder what these people were thinking? But now I know what they’re thinking…They’re thinking they are leaving in the most politically correct way they can because no one ever taught them differently. Shame on us!

That said, here are five things I wish someone had told me before I left a job for the first time:

1. You have options. Leaving one job for another is not a black and white experience. If you know 100 percent you want to leave, it’s probably pretty close. But even if that’s the case, you should sit down with your current employer, explain that you’re thinking about leaving and have a discussion. If they don’t try to keep you, then you’ve made the right decision. And you’ve also been professional.

2. Ask for change. Your boss is not Miss Cleo or Sylvia Brown. She can’t read your mind. If you don’t like what you’re working on, tell her. If you want more money, ask for it. But don’t sit there and cry poor me and then all of a sudden leave one day and complain it’s because you didn’t like your work or you weren’t compensated well enough. This is just like a relationship. Your spouse can’t know something is bothering you if you don’t tell him or her. Speak up. They won’t be offended. It’s business. Not personal.

3. It’s ok to talk to your boss about your job satisfaction. If you’re manager has a weird reaction when you bring this up, he/she is not a good manager. End of story. In fact, your manager should be asking you these questions. Do you feel overwhelmed? Is there anything you don’t like about your job? But you can and should bring these topics up too. You’ll be surprised how many options you find out about this way. You may still leave, but at least you’ll know what you’re leaving.

4. Your first conversation about leaving should never be to say I’m leaving. This is the definition of burning bridges. You may think that by keeping this decision quiet until you’re ready to make a move you made it less stressful for everyone else. Or that you protected yourself because no one found out you were looking. No and no. The implied message when you take this approach is “I cared about you and this company so little that I didn’t even think it was worth talking to you before I left.” Talk about leaving with a bad taste.

5. Seek confirmation, not confrontation. If you’re worried about a knock-down, drag-out when you tell your boss about another opportunity, you’ve either watched too many movies or you really do need to leave your job. I have had multiple “I’m considering another job” conversations in my career and none were confrontational. If you feel like you’re ready to move on, do the following:

- Let your employer know. Ask your boss if your understanding of the situation is correct. For example, if you think there isn’t room for growth in your position, confirm that.

- Give your employer a chance to counter offer. I know we don’t play professional sports people, but we are working professionals. Find out how badly you’re employer wants to keep you.

- Ask your boss what he/she would do. They can’t make the decision for you, but this way you get a different perspective. And they walk away knowing your decision wasn’t impulsive.

- Make the decision that makes the most sense for you. And then let your current or potential employer know why you made that decision.

Basically, be an adult. You’ll feel better about the situation. And your goal should be that the employer you may leave would welcome you back in the future if you were interested in returning.

How you leave a job says a lot about the person you are…or aren’t. Remember that.